Bluewater Blues by G.B. Gordon

Author:G.B. Gordon [Gordon, G.B.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
Published: 2016-09-24T04:00:00+00:00

I don’t feel like going straight home, too full of everything that’s happened tonight. Too full of Jack. Instead I cross at Main and Second and walk down toward the marina and past it along the water until I can’t hear the clanging of the boats anymore. Until the only sound is the murmur of the waves, and the only light comes from the stars. Until I can think. About what exactly happened tonight, because it wasn’t just sex. I’ve had just sex. From that first catastrophic attempt in high school to figuring out that some people in the kink community are open to a don’t touch decree, though they ultimately expected more from me than I’m comfortable dishing out. Most of the time it’s been easier to do without sex than to try to negotiate its pitfalls.

No, this isn’t that. This has been a revelation. A discovery of possibilities. Jack said he would try to be like the man in my waking-dreams, but he managed to be so much more. He not only let me set my own pace and rules of the game; he was thoroughly turned on by them.

If this is possible, if Jack is not only okay with what I do to him, but complements my desires like this, then maybe I have a chance at something better than occasionally interrupted solitude.

The beach is different at night than when I run here in the mornings. I stretch my arms above my head and dig my feet into the sand. I feel good. Notably unfractured. The way I felt when I first realized I could make a career out of my tactile obsessions.

Almost drowned out by the drumbeat of my heart, of Jack!, the major notes of the evening form an elusive theme: hope.

I lose track of time out there on the beach, get home in the small hours, and don’t sleep a wink. I’m up early, but catch myself daydreaming again, and again, until I have to hurry to meet Jason.

In my haste I almost run Ellen over at the foot of the stairs.

“Whoa, where’s the fire?”

“Sorry, I’m late.”

“Then run, but don’t think I don’t want to know what brought that glow to your face.”

I didn’t realize that my happiness would show. Is that a good or a bad thing? Are people going to remark on it? Expect me to answer their questions?

At least Jason won’t. Another reason to be grateful for his taciturn temperament. I make extra sure I have my headphones before I get in his car.

Later I have lunch on one of the picnic benches under the trees and stare at my phone. No message, and no reason why there should be, really. I wish we’d thought to make plans for the weekend before I left last night, though the weekend seems a long way away. We don’t usually meet during the week with both of us working long days and early mornings, but maybe I can walk over tonight, just for a quick hello?

Unsurprisingly, things don’t quite turn out that way.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.